I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
