He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize