That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
