Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.

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(228): View more from Mississippi

thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"

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(330): View more from Ohio

It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.

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(205): View more from Alabama

You fucked her?! HER?!

(1-205): View more from Alabama

She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen

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(630): View more from Illinois

I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.

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(205): View more from Alabama

I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.

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(561): View more from Florida

I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.

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