i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you didnt know i had herpes?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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