i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
