I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
