Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
