he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
