My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
