Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize