What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
