Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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