Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
