and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
