You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
