Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Me. At least after what I've been through.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
