her vagine was all disorganized.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
