do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
