I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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