I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
