I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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