i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
