He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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