you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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