Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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