Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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