I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
