NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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