Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
