I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
