did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
