Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
