even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
