When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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