Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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