pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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