I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize