My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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