I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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