I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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