thus making me awesome and them whores
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
