CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
