If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
