Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
