At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
