So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
