Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize