I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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