Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
