At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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