i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
