I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
