Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
okay pat passed out under dana's car
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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