Walk of Shame. In a state park.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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