We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
