why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize