Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
