Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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