I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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