I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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