I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize