do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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