I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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