Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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