I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
