The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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