I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
