Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
