who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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