You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Randomize
