just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
