yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
