Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
