are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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