$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize