Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
